Trailblazing with Selina Gray

Are you building from vision or from an old wound dressed up as ambition? Today’s guest, Selina Gray, gives us the reminder that your sense of “enough” has never been about a number. After building her career in finance, Selina became a controller in the oil and gas world in her twenties, and eventually turned a life-threatening health crisis into the catalyst of transformation for her relationship with money and the foundation of the work she does today. 

The root of this talk is what it really means to be “enough,” why so many women are chasing safety through success, and how being seen, challenged, and called forward can change the trajectory of your life and business. We also talk about storytelling, the power of in-person rooms, and the kind of founder growth that asks you to stop performing and start telling the truth. Maybe you’ve been questioning what all of this is really for or craving a deeper way of living. If that’s the case, I know this episode is going to land with you. Please leave a like on this episode and share it with a woman who’s building something big in her life.

Connect with Selina:

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:02

Welcome to Found Her, the podcast for women who build empires, break barriers, and blaze trails all while fighting themselves. These are bestie level conversations from behind the scenes. The real work, the messy middle, and the wins that last. I'm Kimberly Hebert, founder, franchise builder, wife, mom, and Grammy, and a woman who has done the inner work while building the outer winds. Here we talk business, identity, relationships, and the kind of growth that cracks you open, then puts you back together. Stronger, better. This is your space to rise as a founder and as your truest self. Let's dive in. Okay, besties. Oh my god, I'm so excited for today's guest. And I know, I know, I say this every time. You're gonna like it, you're gonna like it, but this one you're gonna love. And I'm not even gonna do a formal introduction. Today's guest is somebody who has like cracked me open in a very unexpected and powerful way. I'm gonna try not to cry. I I don't even know how else to say that, other than whoever's been following along my journey over the last six months. So I'm I'm just gonna put some date around this. I'm gonna say from like October 2025 to today, the day of recordings to June 2026. If you've seen the evolution of what's been going on for me, uh this guest that I have on today has very much been a catalyst in that in a the most unexpected way. So today I have on a very dear friend and mentor, Selena Gray. Yay! The crowd goes wild. And some of you may not know her because I'm just gonna put this out there. Now, you may be considered an influencer style coach, but you're kind of like, I would like to say a secret weapon. Like there's so yeah. So welcome, Selena, to the Founder Podcast.

SPEAKER_02 1:55

I'm so excited to be here. I'm so honored to be here. I'm obsessed with you, I'm obsessed with your building, and I am so honored to be a guest.

SPEAKER_01 2:03

I uh let uh and I'm just gonna jump right in. So just so my audience can really know a little bit about you. You are no stranger to entrepreneurship. Can you give us a little bit of a snapshot of kind of where you've come from, a little bit about who you are, just to give my uh listeners a bit of a framework for you before we jump into good stuff.

SPEAKER_02 2:21

So I'm gonna I'm gonna take you way back to a small town in Saskatchewan. I grew up in Nowheresville, Ukraine. Canadian girl. Yeah. And I immediately knew I didn't belong there. Of course, I was a young kid. I didn't understand that, but I started realizing how money became freedom in my life early on. I was selling wrapping paper and old newspapers to neighbors on the street till they started hiding from me. I was doing odd jobs. I realized that I had a gift with math. And so in high school, I started articling at a mom and pop shop about an hour away. And I was an athlete and I was busy and I had a, I would, it'd be fair to say, a quite a traumatic childhood with my mom. And I just really wanted to get out of town. And so I realized if I started uh understanding money and how it impacted my life and started getting credentials behind my name, things might change. So, fast forward some time, I'm at Pricewater House in Calgary. I'm an overachiever because I feel like that was my DNA from birth. I think all of us listening to that might relate in some way. And I started realizing that I had some skills around accounting that were unexpected. And that put me on complicated files that were internationally oriented. And I loved that because I wanted to get into international markets and culture and just be immersed in new things. So I became a controller of an oil and gas company at 23. And I was in 12 countries worldwide. I had a team of 50 finance ninjas, I called them, and they were an incredibly diverse group of humans who executed. And I realized very early on that I had to become a leader that flourished with these people. And so that became kind of a really interesting thing, like a small example of it. I took over one of the company's new assets in Addis Ababa in Ethiopia. I'm barely 24 years old. I fly in there, there's bulls running down the street, and I get dropped off at this office. And I have a person who's who's melee and who speaks English, and I have a big team who is looking at me like, who the F are you? And suddenly they report to me and they wouldn't respond to me. They wouldn't even look at me. So I need to learn quickly like culture and intentionality and making people feel seen, heard, and witnessed is essential. And so I learned quickly to bring back chocolate bars in my suitcase because Twix chocolate bars were available there, but they were 11 US dollars. And this is like almost 20 years ago. So like that was a big deal back then. So I would bring the suitcases of chocolate, and the team started working. And I was like, okay, there's something to this. And then over time, I essentially just started becoming more and more of a workaholic. They would add duties to my role, and I wanted to become a can a CFO by 30. So I was like, yes, let me do this. And I was piling on tasks and taking on more, and my body started giving out. And I was like, I'm too young for that shit. I can keep up until I passed out one day in my office in Tunisia and flew home to Calgary and spent 32 days in the hospital with 12 perforations in my colon and left with an autoimmune disease called Crohn's. And I remember that day making this decision. I had HR come to see me inside the hospital, and they're like, you can go on long-term disability. And I was too naive. I was too caught up in the identity of seeing worth outside myself and striving and achieving. And I was like, no, that's okay. And I quit. Oh I didn't take the money. And a few weeks or months later, I can't remember exactly, but our company struck oil in one of the African nations that we were drilling in, and my vested options that ended up being worth millions, but I had quit my position.

SPEAKER_01 6:22

You had cashed out too early.

SPEAKER_02 6:24

Shit. Literally. And so I left. Literally struck oil after. And no money. No money I was chasing. And so it really became an awakening for me to really say, like, what it what am I going to do with this precious life? Because all of a sudden the lights came on inside my brain that I was chasing things externally, that I had a really unhealthy relationship to money. And no one was talking about this back then. So I started interviewing uh some really high net worth worth people in my circle because I had grown a circle that was pretty interesting because of the access I would I'd gain through oil and gas. And a lot of them were like, Selena, money is a tool, you know, money is a way you enhance your life. And at that point I couldn't feel it because I was still in the chase. So I started interviewing people and I built a company. I started my company by working with high net worth individuals, optimizing their cash, like streamlining their children's um allowances daily, long before AI was a thing. Oh, really? Yeah. And then it evolved into helping families because I really wanted to help families synergize their their monthly uh budgets and grow their net worth. And then I was like, I want more. So I became an entrepreneur and the entrepreneur for women. So I was like, let's build business together because I had had a lot of business background by this point. And so that that was essentially formally the 2012 era of me. And I haven't looked back since I have been building and deconstructing and building and building and scaling and then crashing and burning and crying myself to sleep and then building something magical ever since. And I think many of us can relate to that. But what I love about your podcast is it's the stories behind it that matter.

SPEAKER_01 8:13

Right. And so tell me then, what is because you do a lot, so um I know you now as the storyteller. I'm really I I I I don't like I know if I were to ask you locally, what do people know you for? What are you known for? Like what is the because I know when I came to your first event, and I'm gonna get there in a minute, when I came to your first event just last year, last fall, uh, you were known for something. And what was it? What do people know you as?

SPEAKER_02 8:44

The OG Trailblazer.

SPEAKER_01 8:45

Right. Right? The OG Trailblazer, the money girl. I mean, I remember actually seeing some of your content. That would be a number of years ago now. Um, I think you used to do things maybe at the Creative Hive. Yes. Yeah, yeah. So it was a while ago. Um, but yeah, there was all this. I know, I know and knew you as the money girl, that and then the trailblazer with the money, and really calling women to a higher standard and understanding the money, their money story in a way that wasn't really delivered back then. Yeah, I I really felt like I was one of the first to market and seeing that truly money almost killed me because especially because you come from you come from a CPA background, you come from the controller background, you come from the money world. You're not just an entrepreneur who's learning to manage money and then realize you're kind of coming up against your limits with that.

SPEAKER_02 9:40

Yeah, and when I alluded to this before, so yeah, I became a CPA along the way. Maybe I didn't articulate that well before, but I'm almost 20 years a CPA. So even before that in high school, my my dad had a small business. I was always seeing the world through numbers. And I think, you know, almost dying really, and that was a real thing. Like I was close to death. And all that time I spent in the hospital, I was just so grateful to have a chance at a precious life again. And I started seeing life differently. And I started realizing that it was nothing to do with numbers. It didn't matter how much I had in my bank account. It was really how it made me feel and what I didn't feel enough in. And I started looking at some of my peers to say, oh my gosh, like this guy is worth 100 million. And he still is like non-stop looking for worth outside of himself. He I had a client who was worth 50 million and he was like, you know what, Slita? Once I get to this next thing, then I will. And I just noted that became a habit between a lot of people, which was it didn't matter how much money they had. It was like an external satiation that they were just feeding a hunger that wasn't theirs because they didn't understand the complexities of a relationship to money. And so I dove into that subject matter firsthand when I first started my business. I interviewed hundreds of people around how they saw money, how they interacted in their past, in their present, how they see their future. And it was a taboo subject. So it was really fun for me. And so it made sense because I had the credibility as a CPA, a chartered accountant back then, to then understand and overlay it across why I made the choices I did. Because I was being a hustler before hustler was a thing in the 80s. And I was like, why did I do that? And it was partially because of how I grew up with nothing and I didn't want to keep having nothing, and partially because, you know, I started seeing things that I wanted outside the world that money could give me and that I didn't have. But then I started realizing, wow, I had imposed all kinds of ceilings along the way that if I removed them, lots of things were possible. And so I started really doing that with clients. And I'll give you one example quickly to give context to this. I had a client extremely popular online, over a million followers. He was, and I've shared this story publicly, so I have no problem sharing it. It's not confidential. $10,000 months he was making with like clockwork. And I flew in to see him and it was like, what is going on? This feels like a ceiling. And once I started going through my process with him, that I developed it, real, I realized that his mom had, you know, kind of inherently made this ceiling for him that he didn't notice until we named it. And it she didn't even know she did it.

SPEAKER_03 12:17

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:18

Once upon a time, she had said, like, rich people are evil. And she grew up in a potato famine in Ireland. And somewhere along the way, he attached rich people to anyone making over $10,000 a month.

SPEAKER_01 12:28

That was his definition.

SPEAKER_02 12:30

Exactly. Once you made $10K or more, then you're rich. So I'm I instinctively put myself beneath that, he's thinking, so that I don't have to defy the rules of the family, right? And so we started working on what that could look like. And he's like, you know what? I want to clear this with my mom. And I was like, call her. So he did. And she's like, Hey, this is Selena. And I'm like, hi, you know, super awkward. And he's like, Mom, you know that time when you said this, and she's like, No, she has no recollection. Yeah. And then she's like, I give you full permission to be rich because you're gonna be great as a rich person. And it unleashed something in him. And it's not so simple as that. There's obviously strategies that come behind it. Like, we're not just glorifying the fact that this happened. It just was part of him illuminating something that was possible for himself through the process. And then within 90 days, he had his first million dollar month.

SPEAKER_01 13:21

Oh, wow, million-dollar month. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:25

It's like a gold star example. Yeah, yeah. And let's just be real, he had the community for it.

SPEAKER_01 13:42

He had the it was all backed up, it was all there waiting.

SPEAKER_02 13:45

The pressure was building, and then he released the ceiling, and it was like a funnel of abundance, really. Like, and it it was wonderful to witness. And he did the work. And I was so honored to be a part of the process. And so, like, that's really what I became obsessed with is not just what money can do. It's like what happens when we look at money in 3D as it relates to legacy, when it it's past, it's present, it's future, and how can we turn that into magic? Not magic in the Harry Fairy sense, but literally like the tools to live our most precious life. And I think just watching hundreds, if not thousands, of women bring that to fruition has just been the coolest thing that I could ever have possibly hoped for. The version of me in the hospital, you know?

SPEAKER_01 14:28

Right. And so I want to speak something, share something about you. So speak, I'm gonna talk about you, but speak it to you to help fill your cup. Although I feel like you don't need it, but also we always do. We always want to know that it's always about the impact.

SPEAKER_02 14:42

Your opinion uh matters more than you could possibly know.

SPEAKER_01 14:45

So, one of the things that I, you know, like I said, some of my listeners know I did a podcast way back at the beginning called Enough. So, in my experience at your event on day one, my own internal experience, this whole thing about enough, I was in the process a couple of months in this journey of trying to figure out what my enough, our enoughness was as we're building this big $100 million brand. But the enoughness was how how do I, and I asked people this, how much runway do you have for your business? Like, how much money do I need to have in order to get to where I need to go? And what is the enough number? Is it 500,000? Is it a million? Is it two? Like, what is the enough number so that I can start like, you know, just really trying to like mental math it, right? How do I, how can I build those strategies so that I know we can make it? This is all nervous system regulation, is really what it is. It's like how so how I can feel comfortable knowing where we're going. Um, but in this, there's this little moment was with the little girl picture, a couple other things. The whole story became about enough. And there was a sentence either you or somebody on the stage with you said about enough being not being a number, and it kind of collided, of course, with the things that were already, you had no idea, you didn't know who I was from Eve, like no clue. Uh, you keep running. I still remember. I'm like, oh god. Stacy made me go. She made me go. Stacy's like, Kim, you gotta get in this room, you gotta meet these people, you gotta meet Selena, blah, blah. And I'm like, Stacy, and we all know Stacy for Stacy Millard, she is an accountant brain, she is not given to flamboyant gestures or off the cuff recommendations.

SPEAKER_02 16:27

And she's like, We trust her implicitly. Yeah, she has a lot of pressure.

SPEAKER_01 16:31

So I'm like, oh god, if Stacy says get in the room, I really should, right? Blah, blah, blah. So anyway, so I was there being like, uh, eyes rolling, all that kind of stuff. You come flying in and all your energy, and I'm like, oh, here comes the female version of Tony Robbins. I'm just kidding. I was like, I sus. I have this like this uh little bit of a guard up. Anyway, in this moment, you uh what however along the way, I'm having this like mind-blowing moment about enough being not being a number, and it just really hit home for me, right? In the that moment where I was struggling, realizing that my enoughness that I was really struggling with was a sense of my own value and my own worth. It was, and I was trying to kind of transfer it into a hard dollar number so that I could then feel and lean into that. So that was kind of my first, my own inside experience, internal experience at your event. But here's what I really want to speak into being. What I noticed you do over two days is you literally call people out in your audience. Heck yeah. And these are women, they're not the this is what I love about you, Selena, is they're not the preset, like already successful in their high influence, high impact era. I watched you call women who were struggling to find a new footing or find a new sense of self or direction. And I watched you call them up and out, which can be chilling, I know. I mean, we also did see somebody fall pass out, but we won't talk about that.

SPEAKER_02 17:58

We absolutely did. That was the very first time, and I was terrified. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 18:03

It all worked out well, but lots of doctors in the house, and everything was good. But so it can be chilling, or um, not chilling, it can be, you know, um pulling people out of their comfort zone. But what I watched you do is I watched you lock eyes and hold them steady while you asked them the questions and gave them the permission that this is the room that you're gonna practice. This is the room right here, right now. This is not like go do this. And your willingness to take the time and hold the hand and lock eyes with somebody and like I see you. And you said this in the beginning about being seen and being heard, and this was my experience. That's the moment. It's those smaller moments, they're not big, they're huge to the people involved. But that's what I watched happen over the two days. I watched you see people that are afraid to be seen or hiding back, and you asked them. And in fact, you asked one girl who had been at your event the year before. She had come up and done this, and she said what she wanted to do. You asked the audience, get your get your credit cards out. Let's who wants the service. People are putting their hands up. And she had no way to actually convert the sale in that moment. And she spoke again at the your uh event in October, saying, like, okay, I learned. I learned to always be ready, right? To be ready. But what I watched you do is just really hold women in that testimony and give witness and the space for them to experience so that they can then take that on the world. And to me, that was the magic.

SPEAKER_02 19:33

Yeah, thank you for seeing that. And I think like that's something I've been personally working on this year because you know, this podcast is about breathing in truth. And I'm so grateful to be uh witness, but there was a part of me who didn't get to do the things I wanted last year at the event, and I realized that it's because I wasn't being completely transparent with my own evolution. And I've always used my own evolution as like a marker and a gateway, and not because it's from ego, but because it's it's really important to me as a trailblazer, the one who goes first into wild country, that you're not in it on being yelled at from the sidelines by a mentor who's not in it. And I'm in it. I am breathing it, I am watching thousands of different reps happen at the same time in different businesses. And so I see patterns. And I think that's one of my superpowers is I can synthesize information and see patterns and call people at the right moment, not so that they are like activated into new traumas, but activated into the possibility of what's next. And I think that that happened for me at the end of last year, and I want to share why. Something that feels like a stickiness for me is that the last few years I have had true health struggles, frustratingly annoying health struggle struggles that make me feel behind in my relationship to money. So enoughness I dealt with, and then behindness kind of kept smacking me up in the face. You know, I would see people that I was masterminding with, you know, seven, eight years ago, and they're multi-eight-figure earners now. And it used to really be like, Kate, what is going on? Do you want that for yourself? And I would hear no, but it was from like a lack of clarity. And I think this year I've actually nailed what's going on. And I think that's why these types of conversations and these types of rooms are really helpful. Because what happened was that there's a part of me who's been so proud that I've created a movement around what trailblazer identity is. But I was fearful to evolve the room into something different. And so someone called me out on it, which is exactly what I welcome. And I was like, thank you for this. Because it just allowed the illumination, is what I call it. It's an illumination and it feels like truth. You do something about it. And so we got to sit with it. Say, like, you know, what a trailblazer does is blazes trails and owns a business and does the hard work on their personal life and all the relationships. But remain what remains is chaos. And what do you do with that? And so what I realized is that the evolution of Trailblazer is really about becoming a seasoned trailblazer, one who, you know, has blazed thousands of trails over and over and over again, and who has done the reps so that the confidence may not be quite the issue anymore, or the enoughness into something else. And what happens is we're at an entirely new place in the mountain where the air is thinner. Yes, I was just gonna say, didn't you call it altitude? Yes, where the air is thinner and we're we're in a new altitude. But with what happens in a new altitude is the landscape changes.

SPEAKER_03 22:48

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 22:49

And we're like, oh my gosh, this is what's happening. And so one of the things that I've always been so proud of is that I'm not a person who says, you have to make 7.2 figures to be in this room. Because I feel like readiness is a decision. And what I did this time for this year's event was just modified in a way where all season trailblazers can identify and be placed with people at a similar level so the conversations can become exponentially better. And so that the stage changes a little bit, the conversations. I don't want to leave anyone behind. No, but we also want to create the opportunity to say, like, hey, how far we've come? And and when we're building these successful businesses and we've done this for a while, what are we doing this for? And do we want to go even higher? Because cool, that's awesome. But for me, my illness was making me realize that it wasn't just about the money. Even as a money person, I knew that, but I couldn't name it. And now what's coming through is I'm full circling back to one precious life. Like this year, I I did a scary thing. I was like, I'm just gonna do in-person things.

SPEAKER_01 23:56

Right. You really pivoted, pivoted as I don't, I wouldn't say pivot, you really made a shift. Yeah. Out of alignment for the health and wellness and the life that you really, the one precious life.

SPEAKER_02 24:09

Scary as fuck, because it's like no one says, hey, you've got something that's really working here. Go blow that shit up, you know. And I said that to myself, not from fear, but knowing like I know there's a truth that lives underneath this. And what happened is like I've become so much more connected to the work because I love how how it's uh its frequency and in person is showing up, and it's just ignited me in new ways. And I think the clarity is that, you know, I am not behind, and the illness is part of my story, but it's not the story. And I think what you alluded to before is like, why did I become a storyteller? It's because in the relationship to money work that I did, I saw that there were certain things at certain points of our life that happened. And what what it what we can do from stage, done well, is articulate it in a way through your own story and what happened to you. You illuminate a truth for the entire audience so that they're not just listening to the story, they're walking in it for themselves. Most people think the story is about me. That's just the sign on the door. Once you get in it, you forget it's me and you realize it's about yourself. And I use certain things like there's a pretzel story I'm known for. A kid in high school spit them out at me, and I felt like no name, and I ended up buying like fancy things to try to cover up being no name, and no one was ever gonna call me no name again. And it's not the pretzels, it's the concept, and people can recognize their own pretzel moment in my story. And then what I've then refined even more is not just a well-told story, it's that I've ignited them to do something about it. I've illuminated a truth that feels like they're complete with or they'd like to change. And then I invite them to stay on the journey with me. And I think that I did that unknowingly. It was because I didn't have a ton of extra energy and I couldn't go and do social media stuff every day because I didn't know my energy, but I could craft a well-executed story and it felt like home to me. And I just kept doing it and doing it and doing it. And like it just became something fun. And now I realize like it's a really potent gift that all entrepreneurs should utilize.

SPEAKER_01 26:25

Well, but I'm just gonna say from somebody who I joined one of your masterminds, not this, not the storytelling speaker one, the storytelling one. I didn't, I was like, no, I don't know you. I I have this like, no, no, no. I'm gonna start with the baby one. And um, when I got in there within, I don't know, two hours, three hours of the the first day of because you like you said they're in person, which was why I chose it too. I was like, okay, I want to do in person. Um, I like the quick incubator that's really intense. I want kind of next level conversations, all those kinds of things. Let's do this, blah, blah, blah, blah. Want to meet local women, all that kind of stuff. And um, within three or four hours, you're like, What do you you said this to me? You said, Do you say that? I don't know what I was saying. And you said, Do you say that from stage? And I was like, what do you mean? I was like, Am I pretending? Like, I did not even understand the concept. And you said, No, do you like share that from stage? I go, No, I don't go on stages. And you're instant like, no, this is this is this is who you are. Yeah, you're like, no, no, no, no. Like you saw that. But you saw it and it's not even you saw it and then engaged me in a way is like there's no other option. This is what the your next like it's like you saw it and then were able to communicate that to me in a way that's not happened for me before. And I've had people say, like, oh yeah, you got all the, you know, I I I understand, like, I'm a generator, I get it. I attract people, I get it, and unhealthy ones too. I've been through the whole thing. Me too. Mostly with friends, not with intimate partner. I feel fortunate about that, but with friends. Anyway, that's another podcast.

SPEAKER_03 27:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:59

That's the mother wound. That's what I always say. It's the mother wound. But but uh, you know, being able to and I'm a social worker, I love stories, but but you have to have a purpose. There has to be a reason why. It has to be more than just telling my tale. Like, we all have compelling stories. We all have shit that we've gone through and stuff that we've overcome. But how do we deliver that and what is it meant for? And you were able to just capture that and see that in me. And you're like, oh no, this is what we're doing.

SPEAKER_02 28:24

I don't care what you're doing in your business, but this is and I was like, okay, I said to her, I was like, okay, you have 20 minutes to go out there and come back and just like tell us how you would share this front stage. And that would terrify most people. And Kim was like, well, okay. And then she came back and she just delivered like I knew she could. And was it perfect? Absolutely not. But it was her first rep. And I could see like a light bulb moment going off in you. And I think like that's what differentiates is because I've done thousands of reps. I can see, I can see the the through line before my.

SPEAKER_01 28:57

It feels so personal, and I want to say that. Like, I know there's tons of people right now that are like, that's the next thing, right? It's the whole speaker academy, speaker coach, speaker this, speaker that. Like, that's the whole thing.

SPEAKER_02 29:08

Yeah, like I'm four years behind on this shit.

SPEAKER_01 29:10

You're not though. What yeah. So, this is what I'm saying is like that's why I feel like you're like the secret weapon. Because what I see you doing, because I also know some friends that are uh uh, you know, well, I know them as friends now that are part of your world. I see the impact and I see this like you are behind the scenes with the person, people to people, and that experience absolutely is the catalyst to making difference and making change because like even when you came into we were practicing my keynote, I built my keynote uh right after you I was offered a 45 minute spot.

SPEAKER_02 29:45

Literally two hours after you left our meeting. You're like Selita, you'll never guess. And I'm like, of course you did, because you just had to decide, like that's not a woo-woo thing. It was just like now you're open to it.

SPEAKER_01 29:56

Yeah, it was just crazy. But then it was okay, let's put this. So I I did develop this speech. I used, you know, these three some some information that you gave me on that day. We recorded it. I took back that feedback, listen, constructed my keynote. But then I before the event, I had you come to my office. Uh my husband witnessed it, he still is power impacted by that day. And you worked with me in person for a couple of hours to and brought that keynote to a place that to this day, so that's three April, May, June, now two months. I still get DMs about people's doorways. And you brought it not only into my industry, which is weird, hard because I'm an ador franchise, it's not like an everyday thing. You were able to help me connect all of these, what are my stories, but these creating the the story arc in a way and the journey. It's not even the arc, it's the journey through them all, in a way that helped other women see themselves at different doorways in their lives. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 31:00

Because that was the critical piece was like you were sharing and it was potent. And then sometimes it was even overwhelming because you are such a force, like your capacity is so high that it was just like, yeah, I told this, and like I love that you drop into your story. I could feel you in it, but I was like, we have an opportunity here to capture the audience in this. So if we take this story and we frame it through a door and we give it a specific color, and then I could just see your mind take off after that. Because I you'd already been highly successful and highly attuned. You'd been pitching already, like this was just a nice gradual sidestep. And when you came back, and so so to give color on what Kim's saying, like I was, I really root for my people. Like I very like, so I'm like, I'm like sending her notes, and I'm like, and I was watching her stories and I could just see the impact. Like people really got it. And it's because Kim was up there delivering fire in a way that made her feel strong and confident in a way that that same thing landed for others, even though the dark the doors themselves aren't always easy. And because you're a door guru, like it just it was a match made in heaven. But like I I I so appreciate what you're saying about me. But like what I think the best thing about what happens for me is that I am a co-creator, the secret weapon, if you will, that like just lives in the background and to tease things up. So, for example, like I listened to your story and I was like, holy crap, do I have your permission to slice this and change that? And it's because of the reps. Like, I've been on thousands of stages now, and I know when I lose, lose like the plot of the story because they make it about themselves. The real, the real aha is when it is your story, but I see myself in it. And I want to give this an example because I think it's a great one. It's kind of applicable to my life, but my daughter loves Disney, and I've never been a Disney person. Kim, you and I have talked about this many times.

SPEAKER_00 32:58

My worst nightmare. My grandkids, can you take me to Disney?

SPEAKER_02 33:01

No, but I was never a Disney kid, and so my daughter wanted to do it, and my own mother wounding meant that I was going, Kim, you know, so we were going to Disney. But I realized, like, oh my gosh, this is this is a good frame of the talk. People see the Incredicoaster and they're like, whoa, that's a cool ride. But then to experience it is an entirely another thing. And so here's a vulnerable truth that's kind of embarrassing. Like, if anyone ever says to me, Oh my gosh, Selene, your talk was so inspiring, I kind of secretly like crumble inside because I don't want to inspire. I want to move. I want to move the hearts and souls of the people because it's not about me. I want to be the conduit and co-creation for change. And so I want them on the Incredicoaster with me, smelling the cookie spray when we go around the second bend.

SPEAKER_01 33:56

And then you know what that means, cookie spray.

SPEAKER_02 34:00

You know, on Disney's.

SPEAKER_01 34:00

No, no, Disney.

SPEAKER_02 34:01

It's like they they enhance the experience so much that when you're on a certain uh part of the roller coaster, they'll pump cookie smells. So you smell the cookies. Oh, you know, it's like a spray. That's brilliant. Yes, and I think the factory is big. Yeah. For like what good speaking is, is you bring the ride to life. You're not describing the ride because no one gives a shit about that. They want to either be on the ride or get back to themselves. And it's not because people are inherently bad, it's just we're we are inherently self-absorbed. So it's not rude, it just is what it is. And so, like, I saw that really quickly naturally in you, Kim, and like what you're building, people can get behind. And then most of all, and I truly mean this, you're just like a one in a million kind of person. Like everyone wants for you. So it makes perfect sense to me that that rare combination goes on a stage and you have integrity, and then everyone can see themselves in your story. And I just think we're just getting started. And here's why because I know because I've been on stages and I've been doing the reps, and then I've watched other people kind of instinctively learn my method. And what happens is when you're doing that, you plant seeds in people. And then, like four years ago, someone watched a talk of mine and called me recently to do a keynote because she's like, as soon as we need a money person, I'm calling Selena Gray. So we don't even understand the impact that that one talk has done. And then when we amplify your 10 talks over time, and I say we, but obviously it's you. I just I just get invested, you know. We don't even understand the impact that this one decision that you've made has done. And so I just think it's super fun because we are so much better off hearing you on a place of glory, just like this podcast, but also at events. Of course, we want to hear what you have to say.

SPEAKER_01 35:52

I just feel really called right now. I love this call to action. I want this to be the soundbite. I want you to say this over and over. Is we don't want to inspire. Fuck no. Fuck no. We want to move people to act.

SPEAKER_02 36:07

We want to move them up and off their seats, not in a standing over us, but for real change in their life so that our truth becomes their learning curve to a life that's worthy of altitude, where the air is thinner, the decisions are crisper, and that they start living their one precious life. Not, you know. So here's a one other quick example. When we're inside our own lives, we're too close to it.

SPEAKER_01 36:33

Yes, 100%.

SPEAKER_02 36:37

It's like an easy, soft, mirrored reflection. You're like, oh, I didn't see that mole on my face before, but now I can't unsee it. I'm gonna like take action. And and not that the mole is inherently bad, it's just it's probably been there for a while and we hadn't recognized it. You know, maybe silly example, but I feel like that's what Trailblazer does and what the reality of it is. It's like, I love that you came in and you said, like, I don't know about this rah-rah stuff.

SPEAKER_01 37:05

Because truly I mean, she was burning money and giving money bouquets away, like I don't know, there's a lot of theatrics, but people like it. I I'm being cheeky and I don't mean I don't mean any disrespect. It helps it helps people regulate and connect like when you have tangible things.

SPEAKER_02 37:25

But you know what, Kim? I'll say that because you're like, because I I just got to meet you last October, but it doesn't matter because you impacted me in real time, and that's why I always say, like, because that's an asshole.

SPEAKER_01 37:38

No, because you're your inventor was not an asshole.

SPEAKER_02 37:41

No, and and you're so like I love your truths and you deliver them well. And like that's the point, is like in in true sisterhood, you can receive that. If you've done the healing, you can receive it. I wasn't active. I'm like, Kim, tell me more about that. Because the reality is I've been feeling that for some time. So, like, if I can be 1000% direct, I needed to hear that from you because it it became an expectation that the theatrics had to remain. And this year, because of conversations like the ones you and I have had, they're going away. So, like, there's people that will be.

SPEAKER_01 38:16

Wait, was that an Easter egg?

SPEAKER_02 38:18

Yes, there's pieces that will remain because they intentionally enhance the experience. But when like someone like Kim, who is an amazing person, high caliber, all that stuff, if she wants to hide in the bathroom, what that ain't it, everybody. We gotta cut that part out. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_01 38:35

So there's gonna be no bathrooms.

SPEAKER_02 38:37

Well, I mean, we gotta, I think it's a rule, you gotta have the bathroom. But I just want you to know that like your influence on me is never lost, and your truth is really appreciated. So that it gave me permission in ways I didn't know I needed to be like, yeah, those things, those things need to go because I've been I started them in 2019, it became something people expected out of me. And I was, if I if I'm being like super vulnerable, I was like, if I strip that away, we'll upset people. And if I do better, I will never upset people. I mean, I can upset people, but if they're already into the next evolution, they may even forget. So there's elements that are going away, and there's a new matured energy showing up to this year uh around like conversations we've never had. Like, what are we? Do I need to bring my oxygen tank? Heck yeah. And like, do what are we doing all this success for? Because yeah, cool if we want to, but what is the sellable asset? What are we actually trying to do? What happens when we've become so successful we don't want anything anymore? You know, like that's not the whole point, but for some people it is. And so I just want to open up conversations that, in my opinion, don't exist in events. And that's what I did in 2019 was I took my speaking tour across Canada and the US, and I found little pockets of things that I was like, oh my gosh, this we need to talk about. And I feel an invigorated energy this year because my stable and my give two fucks is lower than ever. And I'm just like, you know what? This event is, I want it to be one I really want to come to. And I want it to feel mature, but also the depth. Like belonging is not, it's just what you get when you come. It doesn't need airtime, it's just it's like breathing air now and knowing that what can we do with it. So I've had the most fun sitting into it. And you know, you what you've said is also a secret weapon for me, and that's what like evolved sisterhood is, I believe.

SPEAKER_01 40:38

You know, so yeah, evolved sisterhood.

SPEAKER_02 40:40

You're you're just magic.

SPEAKER_01 40:42

So tell, well, I think you are. So I was on this note, talk about the give us a little, give us a little rundown of the event. Um, because it's coming up in the fall, right?

SPEAKER_02 40:52

Yeah. So like it is gonna be, I'm saying it now, the most impactful event I've ever created because I am just showing up with new levels of intentionality. I've had the reps, I've had the experience, I've done countless events, but this one is really about like leaving with something that gives you answers you didn't know you were looking for. So I'm taking storytelling to the next level, I'm taking the ajas to the next level, I'm taking the whole thing to the next level. So in years past, I've had one room, there's gonna be more. It's not to add complexity, but just the opportunity for it to feel like your soul is being nourished for two days, but also expanded and also challenged. And yes, it's about business, but it's more than that. It's like, what are we doing in this precious life? Because there's always chaos. And I hope nobody passes out this time. I mean, it's good, but uh the reality is we we want to have an event we want to come to. And what I wanted to do this year was that I want to become the event again where you will move everything to be at it. It is the event where you feel like doesn't exist elsewhere, and that's not lip service. I have to go and and showcase that now, but I'm I'm ready for it. And I got my tickets already.

SPEAKER_01 42:10

Yes, I got my tickets already. Get your tickets, you guys. Uh, we will drop all the information in the show notes, and then actually uh I'll follow up on uh after we uh end record um because I do think everybody needs to get in the room and it's local to Edmonton, so it's like October 28th and 29th in Edmonton. Yeah. Um so I know I have a probably a 50% Canadian listing audience, so we can get lots of people from we've got New Yorkers coming.

SPEAKER_02 42:40

You come anyway.

SPEAKER_01 42:41

Yeah, yeah. It doesn't matter where you're from. So where can people find more of you? Uh I know you're a little bit quiet. And quiet, shy? Where's my? I'm not shy at all. You're not shy. That's not the right word.

SPEAKER_02 42:52

I know where to put my energy.

SPEAKER_01 42:53

There you go. Yeah. Where can people find more of you and follow along to get uh ready for your event? Because that's that's it. That's where you you do the event.

SPEAKER_02 43:02

You don't have a million little event and I do speaking engagements throughout the year, and I have masterminds, and I just have created this really beautiful business model that allows me to be home before my daughter goes to school and and home when she comes after, and I can go to all of her sporting events, and yeah, I could be on stages and grow exponentially, but in this season of life, it feels like the absolute right thing for me. So, what I do is I put my energy into my present life. And it's not because I don't love business, I love business, I think about it all the time, but I'm not super active on social, I'm not super active you know, on blogs or TikTok or anything. I do go on Instagram, I share more on stories there.

SPEAKER_01 43:43

Okay, well let's follow, let's follow her at Selena Gray, right? It's at Selena Gray.

SPEAKER_02 43:47

Selena.gray. Okay, and I have I'll I'll make sure that the landing page for the event is there, but I just like to rebel a little bit against expectations on how we have to show up as as entrepreneurs, because I want to say this. One thing and then I'll I'll uh leave it. But we are the first generation to be on social and on for years and years and years without stopping. And for me, I I love to be like an early adopter of everything. And so for me, I felt this big pull to just create a business model that could still nourish my life without me having to be on, and I got to decide when on was. And it's not because I want to be lazy, I just want to give full potency when I'm ready. And it worked for my my illness that that has now become healed, which is a whole other story. But I think ultimately when I look at what I'm creating, I just really listen to what's coming next. And for years I've wanted a bit of a sabbatical, but I've been scared because a sabbatical can ruin, yeah, the don't turn ruin the business.

SPEAKER_01 44:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:50

Yeah. And so what I've done is challenged myself. I always take every summer off to be with my daughter, but I'm I'm really taking it off this time. So if if you message me in the DMs, I will absolutely get back to you. You can buy tickets without me. You can send me DMs. I might respond a little later, but I'm excited to see this experiment because I think it's going to teach me things that Selena in October needed to know.

SPEAKER_01 45:15

Yeah, and I think that gives the permit, you know, when it's that trailblazer. When you go first, it gives permission. People don't have to sell their soul on socials to run a business, to make connections. They don't have to do that. And I think nowadays, with so much pressure with AI and digital marketing and digital this and digital, there is a real and personal brand and what that looks like. Um, so showing the reality that you can build the life that you want. This is one thing, boy, this is gonna have to be broken into two episodes because the one thing I see you do inside of our mastermind is every time a woman's like, oh, I'm gonna do this and I'm gonna do that, you really challenge the why. What is it for? What's the purpose it's serving? Let's let's dial that, let's peel that back, peel that back, peel that back until we get to the answer of whether it's actually gonna bring more, is it gonna create the lifestyle you want, or is it gonna just is it just noise? Are you running from the lifestyle you want?

SPEAKER_02 46:07

I'm so grateful you brought this up because here's what I see in our industry all the time. Yeah, if someone does something exponential and they do a seven-figure launch, I've done that. Great, I have credibility, but the reality is I always like to know what did it cost me beyond numbers.

SPEAKER_03 46:23

Right.

SPEAKER_02 46:23

And and do I want to keep that going? And why did I do it in the first place? And not to say we can't continue it. We can, but I would need to be questioned. Yes, ask better questions first to say, okay, someone else did this and it was a brilliant strategy. Rather than blindly following it because it worked for them. Let's consider like all the factors in the dream life you want because here's why I know. Remember when we talked about the fetal position under the floor? It's like I built stuff because most of us are incredibly successful no matter what we do. We we don't give up, we're relentless, all that. But is that required? And I think that's what my relationship with Crohn's disease taught me was that it forced me to go to the through line. Like, if I'm dedicating energy to this, this is life force. So what do I want from it? And I think that I realized that some of my best clients were like, that's a good question. And I was like, okay, let's go deeper here because we can build anything we want, but is the destination of building where we actually want to get to? Because in the end, most of us can do anything. I do not question that your hundred million brand is coming. It's like, oh my gosh, what feels like the most viable ways to get there? And I happen to know that you're gonna be fantastic on stage. You proved that. So then we we light that on fire and ignite a lot of ways for other people to find you in addition to the podcast, etc. So I am not anti-strategy. I love strategy. No, no, no, but strategy is secondary to asking better questions. I feel like most people skip that part a little too quick.

SPEAKER_01 47:52

Yeah. And I see you go deep and I see it change people. I see it. People go, oh, wait a sec. That's just especially for you know overachievers. We're always just looking for the next thing. So I love all that. Okay, let's land the plane. Let's land the plane. Yeah, I know this has been such a great being here. Ever, forever. This is a great conversation. My listeners are gonna love it. Thank you so much for sharing.

SPEAKER_02 48:12

As always, always going to your edge and speaking your truth so it illuminates things for others. And that's what like I just want to celebrate you for. I love that you're in the industry you're in. You are such a brave, beautiful heart, but you also are relentlessly honest, and radical honesty is my favorite. So uh you're stuck with me for life. Sorry. Awesome.

unknown 48:32

Woohoo.

SPEAKER_01 48:34

Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the Found Her podcast. If you've enjoyed it, please, please, please leave me a review. Subscribe so you don't miss any future episodes, and more importantly, please share with your business bestie. You can join our newsletter, find me on Instagram, all the places. I would love to hear your feedback and connect with you during your journey of building your legacy.